


No One Special (Kylo Ren X Reader)

by kylos_wife



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-11
Updated: 2021-02-12
Packaged: 2021-03-18 11:07:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 12
Words: 15,855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29367516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kylos_wife/pseuds/kylos_wife
Summary: You were just a medic working for the First Order, no one special. You wanted to stay as invisible as possible. That is until you met the man himself Kylo Ren.





	1. Chapter 1

About one month after graduating from the galaxy's best med school you had applied to work on the Finalizer. A ship owned by the First Order, their leader was Kylo Ren. Whom you knew nothing about except that he became the Supreme Leader after some man named Snoke had died. They had accepted your application quite quickly after receiving it as you were incredibly skilled and were at the top of your class. But you didn't expect to be seen as much by anyone there as you barely had a title. You were no one special, just a low rank medic.

Once landing in the hangar of the base a tall woman with long black hair walked up to you and motioned for you to follow her. "Hello (y/n), i am Dr.Nablos. I am the head doctor on this ship, if you ever need anything i am always here to help." she said kindly. You nodded back at her with a slight smile as you followed her to the medical bay. Once arriving in the medical bay Dr.Nablos disappeared into a closet near the entrance of the bay for a minute. She came back out holding all black scrubs and a black face mask. As she handed them to you she said "Now (y/n), as long as you are in the medical bay or outside of your quarters you will need to be wearing these. And you will now be known as MD-5901. Understood?" You nodded back in response. "Good. Now go put them on, there's a bathroom over there. When you come back out i'll tell you your duties on the ship." Dr.Nablos said. You nodded back at her again and said "Yes Doctor." 

You then walked over to the bathroom Dr.Nablos had pointed to a moment earlier. The scrubs were somewhat loose around your body and the face mask covered your identity completely. Not like you really had one anymore since you were just now known as MD-5901 and nothing more. After changing into your work attire you put the clothes you had arrived in into the small duffle bag you had brought with you. You then walked out the bathroom and walked back up to Dr.Nablos. She gently nodded with a very subtle smile "Good. Now another thing whenever you are here in the medical bay you must have your hair pinned back, but for today i'll let it slide. While you are working on the Finalizer you will be attending to any officers or stormtroopers that need your help. Weather it be because they just came back from a mission or some other reason. It is very rare that we get any generals or even the Supreme Leader himself down here. So don't be scared that they'll show up at any minute, trust me they won't. Here is your data pad you will need this everyday while you work here. Anyways you will be starting work tomorrow, be here at 0700 am sharp. For now this stormtrooper will be taking you to your quarters." she said. "Yes Doctor." you replied as you slightly bowed at her before turning around to follow the trooper. 

On the way there you kept your hands behind your back as you followed them. But your eyes couldn't help but wander around the dark hallways of the giant ship. Once arriving at the door of your quarters the stormtrooper gently pushed a button next to the door. The door then quickly slid open and went into the wall. They motioned for you to walk in before them, your quarters were quite small. At least compared to your one at home. It had a small light and bed in the corner, a small wardrobe, a small bathroom and that's it. Before leaving your quarters the stormtrooper that had shown you the way there said "If you ever get lost there is a map of the ship on your data pad. Welcome to the ship MD-5901." "Thank you." you said quietly. After they left you decided to organize your things in this very small room. 

Which at the same time was very fitting as you barely owned anything anyways. You had brought two sets on pajamas plus the clothes you had arrived in, plus a small book and that's it. After you had set all of your stuff down, you plopped onto the bed at stared at the ceiling to somewhat relax. A few minutes later your stomach started to rumble. You hadn't eaten in 72 hours as you were quite nervous about this new job. So you decided to head down to the mess hall. Once you finally found it after looking around for a little while, you went in grabbed your food and sat down at an empty table. You didn't plan on really making friends as you were just on this ship for work. After finishing your meal you threw your tray into the garbage. As you walked out of the mess hall you stared at the map on your data pad to try to find your way back to your quarters. You were so focused on it you hadn't even noticed the tall man quickly walking in front of you. He got closer and closer to you. You then accidentally bumped into him and dropped your data pad on your feet. "Fuck." you quietly said to yourself. You then quickly backed up and said "Oh i'm so sorry sir. I didn't see you." He raised his pointer finger at you and your eyes widened as you looked up at who you had bumped into, it was the Supreme Leader. "Watch where your going next time." he says. You nervously nod at him "Yes Supreme Leader." you reply. His cloak violently hit your side as he walked away. "Ow." you whispered as you pressed your hand up against your ribs to soothe it. You were so tired so when you got back into your quarters you plopped down on your bed again and almost immediately fell asleep.

A/N:  
Please ignore any incorrect grammar in this story, sometimes i type too fast lol.


	2. Chapter 2

The next morning you woke up hours and hours before your shift. As you had a horrible dream the night prior. In the dream you were tied to metal plank as Kylo Ren watched you from the corner of the room. He had his mask off but he had no face. Did he actually look like this? Did he somehow burn off his face? you thought. You laid down on your bed thinking to yourself for another hour until you got up to prepare for your first day of work. You put on your uniform and completely covered up your identity. And as Dr.Nablos had instructed, you tightly braided your hair and pinned it to your head in a bun. Which you didn't mind as you knew it would keep your hair out of your face while you were working throughout the day.

After getting ready, you then quickly grabbed your data pad and headed down to the medical bay. Once you entered it Dr.Nablos approached you. "I'm glad to see your right on time. We have a few officers in those rooms who need stitches." she says. You shot her a smile and a thumbs up. Before you entered the first room you grabbed a small bag of medical supplies you would need. You walked into the first room to see a short man with slicked back ginger hair sitting down on the hospital bed and clutching his thigh in his hand. You set down your stuff on a nearby desk and took out the things you would need. You first approached the man with a pair of scissors. "Sir, i am going to need to cut open your pants to get to your wound. Please move your hands." you say. He rolled his eyes at you as he removed his hands from his leg. You saw he had gotten a blaster shot to the leg. As you were stitching up the cut the blaster shot had created you widened your eyes. "What?" the man said in a annoyed tone. "I'm sorry sir. I was just surprised you didn't break your femur because of how close the shot was to the bone." you reply. He does not reply he just simply rolls his eyes at you in response. As you are finishing wrapping up the man's leg, he slowly got up. "Wait sir! I'm not done yet!" you say urgently. So he stands in place and he glares down at you. He then stormed out of the room in a hurry. Probably just to get to his post. you thought. Before heading to your next patient you looked at your data pad to actually see who this man was. Apparently he was some general named Hux. You shrugged your shoulders and headed to the next room. Patching up the next two officers did not take too long as their cuts were not as deep as Huxs. 

As you were finishing bandaging up the last officer Dr.Nablos barged into the room. "MD-5901, i need you to finish up right now and come with me!" she quickly said. After you finished up completely with last officer a minute later, you followed Dr.Nablos she led you into a room with a very tall man groaning and clutching his chest and face. Your eyes widened as you realized it was Kylo Ren. He had his mask off, he was so incredibly handsome. But you restricted that thought as he was quite literally your boss. "He was badly hurt in a mission and needs to be stitched up immediately. I know this is your first day but i have a surgery to go to right now and your the only doctor available." Dr.Nablos says. You nod and say "Will do ma'am." As she left the room you quickly grabbed a clean needle, bandages and a numbing cream. Like you did with Hux you approached Kylo Ren with a pair of scissors. "Sir can you please move your hand i won't be able to help you with your shirt in the way." you say. He groaned as removed his hand. He had pieces of wood and glass stuck in his chest. "Sir before i stitch you up i am going to need to remove some debris from your chest. This may hurt." you say. He nods back in response. He quietly groaned as you pulled the smaller pieces out. But once you got to the bigger ones he gripped his bloody hands around your shoulders. You thought this was weird but you just ignored it and continued on. He screamed out and started to jerk his body around as you continued to pull them out. "Sir, please stay still. It will hurt even more if you keep moving." you say. He let out a big sigh and gripped your shoulders even tighter in his hands. You then rubbed the numbing cream on his chest and face before sewing them up. As you started to sew up his chest you noticed him staring at you with his full attention. "Yes sir?" you say. "What officer?" he reply's. You pause for a moment "Oh nothing i just noticed you staring at me." you say. He quietly laughs to himself. After you had completely finished stitching and bandaging him up you took off your gloves and threw them into the trash as you let out a big sigh.

You then quickly washed your hands before looking at your data pad. "Sir, i have been instructed by Dr.Nablos to tell you that you are required to stay here over night and that i will also be in here with you over night in case you need my help. For the next two weeks i will have to go to your chambers to clean up the stitches and replace your bandages." you say. "I'll be right back sir." you say before leaving the room. You quickly rushed to the bathroom the try and wash Kylos blood off of your shoulders. You then grabbed a small chair before heading back in. After setting the chair down you turned around to see if Kylo needed anything. He raised an eyebrow at you in confusion "Officer how long have you been working here?" he says. "This is my first day working here sir. I arrived yesterday." you reply. He nods and then pauses for a few moments. "What is your name?" he says. "MD-5901." you say. He quietly sighed and rested his hands in his lap. "No your real name." he says with a stern tone. "I am not permitted to give out my real name sir." you reply. "As my employee i would like to know your real name." he says. This confused you, you knew he would never ask other officers this. So why was he so interested in you all of a sudden? you thought. "My real name is (y/n) sir." you say. He gently smiles at you, something you never thought you'd see. "(y/n)? i like that name." he reply's. You nod back at him with a blank face and sit down in the chair you had brought in. "Sorry if i doze off sir. But if you need me don't be afraid to wake me up." you say as you remove your face mask. He looks back at you for a moment then lays down all the way on the hospital bed. You leaned your head back against the wall and quickly fell asleep. A few hours later you were shook awake by Kylos large hands. You squinted a little as you looked up at him. "Yes sir? Are you okay?" you say as you gently stretch in your seat. "My face is bleeding." he says. "Okay, i'll patch it up again." you say as you start to yawn. You quietly laughed at yourself "Excuse me sir. I guess i'm just really sleepy." you say. He silently nodded back at you with a subtle smile. After you patched him up again and you sat back down in your chair Kylo looked down at you. "(y/n), you are more then welcome to join me up here in the hospital bed if you'd like. I noticed that you started to shiver while you slept. I wouldn't mind warming you up." Kylo says with concern. "I'm very flattered sir, but since your my boss i don't think that's appropriate for us to do. I'll be fine sir, i promise you." you say. 

He shrugged his shoulders and laid back down. You quickly fell asleep again, the next morning you woke up to see that you were not in your chair anymore and that there was a man's arm wrapped around your waist. You quickly jumped off the bed once you realized that your boss was literally cuddling with you. But if you were being honest, you kind of liked it. Even though you knew you shouldn't. While he was still sleeping you patched up his wounds again. As you were about to leave the room you felt him grab your wrist, so you slowly turned around to face him. "(y/n), i'll see you at my quarters at 01000 pm. Don't be late or there will be consequences." he said as he let go of your wrist. "Yes sir." you say with a nod as you put your mask back on. As you left the room a smile grew across Kylos face. He liked you, a woman he barely knew. But why? After all you were no one special, just a medic.


	3. Chapter 3

For the next week after you had woken up in Kylos arms, you had many sleepless nights. You just couldn't get what happened out of your head. As much as you tried to deny your feelings for Kylo, you felt as if it was getting harder and harder to hold it in. You really liked him. But he could never know you liked him, who knows what he would do to you with that information. You had been going to Kylos quarters every night now for about a week. He kept on trying to be flirty with you. But still you ignored his attempts to seduce you. You never said a word to him. You only tended to him because you were a medic and that was your job. 

You had gotten out of work two hours before your shift was supposed to end, so you headed to Kylos quarters a few hours earlier then you normally would. A few days prior he had given you the passcode to his door so he wouldn't have to get up every time to open it for you. You quickly but quietly walked into his bedroom with your med bag full of supplies attached to your hip. Once he noticed you were there standing in his bedroom, he began to narrow his eyes and tensely glare at your presence. "Why are you here early (y/n)?" he shouted with pure rage in your direction. You looked up at him with a blank stare but did not respond to his pointless demands. You slowly walked up to him and started to remove the bandage from his face. He quickly grabbed your wrist "I asked you a question officer. Answer me." he says as he holds up your chin with his other hand. You quietly sighed to yourself. "I'm sorry sir, i got off of work early. So i thought i'd tend to you earlier then i normally would. I can leave if you'd like." you say quietly in fear. He let go of your chin and wrist. "No stay. I like your company." You nodded and continued to tend to his still healing wounds. After you had finished up you turned around to put your supplies back into your bag. When suddenly you felt Kylos big hands around your waist . His touch made you tremble. "Relax i'm not going to hurt you." he whispered into your ear. You quickly turned around and backed away from him. "What are you doing sir?" you say. He stared deeply into your eyes as you looked up at him with fear. "Join me for dinner (y/n)." he says with a subtle smirk on his face. Was this his attempt at being nicer or more gentle with you? you thought. Then a big smile appeared on his face. You paused for a moment and stared in the other direction. "Yes sir." you say. The two of you sat silently in his dinning room, he then looked up at you. "What was your childhood like (y/n)?" he says. "Why do you care sir?" you say with a subtle scoff. He stared deep in your eyes as his cheeks turned a bright red. "Because i want to learn more about you." he says. You pause for a moment and look back up at him from your plate. "To be honest with you sir i don't remember my childhood. My childhood memories were wiped before i started going to medical school a few years ago. I'm sorry." you say. He nodded and faced his attention back towards his food. "Sir?" you say. He looks up at you for a few moments "Yes (y/n)?" he reply's. "What was your childhood like?" you say. He pauses for a moment and takes a deep breath. Maybe you were interested in him too? he thought. "My childhood was not too interesting. I grew up on the Resistance base with my parents Leia and Han. They didn't pay much attention to me when i was younger so i was alone most of the time and i basically raised myself for my entire childhood." he said. You looked up at him with concern "Oh, i'm so sorry sir. But i understand your pain, the whole time i was at medical school i had no friends and my parents abandoned me completely. They said i wasn't the child they wanted." you say. You quietly laugh to yourself to try to make light of the subject and pause for a quick moment. "(y/n)?" Kylo says. You look up at him again "Yes?" you reply. After you replied to him he went over to you and wrapped his arms around you. "I'm sorry you had to go through that." he said while he pulled away. You gently smiled at him "Oh it's fine sir. After a little while i got used to feeling lonely." you say. he gently smiled back at you "You may call me Kylo, if you'd like to. I trust you." he says. You nod back at him and get up to leave his quarters, but something wasn't letting you leave. He was holding you in place with something you had never heard of before called the force. "Until i am fully healed you will be living in the spare room attached to mine." he says with a stern but still somewhat happy tone. You hang your head slightly "Okay Kylo. But can you at least let me go so i can get my belongings." you say. After he released you you quickly walked to your quarters as you didn't want to to take too long and risk angering him. 

Once you got back to his quarters Kylo stared down at the one small bag you were holding. He raised an eyebrow and looked at you with confusion. "Is that all you own (y/n)?" he says. You step away from the door and walk up to him "Yes sir. Sorry i mean Kylo." you say. He quickly chuckled "It's okay." he says. He holds his hand out for you to take "Follow me." he says. So you take his hand in yours, weirdly enough holding his hand comforted you a lot. He led you to a room similar to his but a lot smaller. "This is where you will be staying in my quarters." he says. You nod back at him in response. "I will leave you alone now to get settled in." he says as he leaves your new room. 

It was incredibly late so you decided to go to sleep as soon as you finished unpacking your things as you were very exhausted. You woke up the next morning with Kylos arms wrapped around your waist again. You wondered why he always wanted to touch you in some way. Was he trying to get closer to you? You slowly peeled yourself away from his body, you had no time to cuddle as your shift started soon. As you stood up, you heard Kylo groan from behind you. Your eyes dart to his sleepy face. "Where are you going?" he whispered as he tried to reach out for your hand. "My shift starts soon. I'll see you later Kylo." you say. And with a flash you were gone again and out of his sight. Which he hated dearly, he wanted to look at you forever.


	4. Chapter 4

The next night you had woken up at 0300 am to hear the loud sound of Kylo screaming coming from his bedroom. Maybe he hurt himself? You thought. You hopped out of your bed and quietly walked to his bedroom. You peaked through his slightly open door to see him destroying everything in sight, he even dented the walls of his room in a few places. You didn't want him to hurt himself so you slowly but quietly walked into his now very cluttered room. "Kylo? Are you okay? Are you hurt? I woke up a few minutes ago and heard you screaming. So i came to make sure you were okay." you say as you gently rub the sleep from your tired eyes. His eyes quickly dart to you as he starts to approach where you were standing in the doorway of his room. He slowly leaned down to your height, he then wrapped his arms around you and rested his forehead on your shoulder. Him doing this startled you quite a bit, but you held it in as much as you could. You felt sympathy for him so you wrapped your arms around his muscular body and gently rubbed his back to calm him down. As you started to do this he gripped your shirt in his hands as he began to cry. "(y/n), i want you to become my personal medic and i want you to live here with me in my quarters full time." Kylo mumbled into your chest. You raised an eyebrow at this "Uh okay Kylo." you replied. A few minutes later after he had said this you slowly pulled away from his arms. You quickly glanced at your shirt to see that it was now soaking wet with Kylos tears. You quietly laughed to yourself about it. Also noticing this Kylo looked at you and said "Oh sorry about that." As he said this he rubbed his hand against the back of his head. You gently smiled at him and wiped away any tears on his face that still remained. "It's okay." you whisper as you continue to smile at him. He looked at you for a moment as he bit his bottom lip. Suddenly out of nowhere he pressed his lips up against yours and wrapped his comforting arms around your waist. You put your hand on his cheek as you kissed him back even harder. After he pulled away he rested his forehead against yours and gently kissed your nose. You smiled at him as you started to blush. You took a small step back "Anyways i'm glad your okay Kylo. But it's very late and i have an early shift tomorrow. I'll see you later." you say with a smile. As you start to turn around Kylo quickly grabs your wrist. "No, stay (y/n). Sleep in my room. Please." he says with a hint of sadness in the tone of his voice. You turn around and brightly smile at him "Aw okay." you reply. He then scoops you up into his arms and carries you to his giant bed with black sheets made of the softest silk you had ever felt. Once he set you down he quickly slid into his bed next to you. He wrapped his arms around your waist again as he began to gently kiss your forehead. He gently smiled as he noticed you started to blush because of his loving and comforting kisses. 

Kylo woke up again an hour later in a sweat and panting. He didn't want to wake you up as you looked so peaceful, so he tried to comfort himself. As he raked his fingers through his wavy black hair he began to quietly mumble something under his breath. "Why? Why? Why?" Thirty minutes after he had woken up and started to panic, you slowly but surely woke up. You slowly sat up and turned to face him. "What's wrong Kylo?" you say sleepily. "Oh nothing i'm fine i just had a bad dream that's all." he says quietly. A few moments later he then immediately wrapped his arms around you again. As he started to cry and grip your shirt in his hands again he began to say "(y/n), please don't ever leave me. Please." You felt so much sympathy for him in this moment and you really hated to see anyone upset. So you started to comfort him the best you could. "Shh, it's okay Kylo. I'm right here, i'm not leaving you." you said as you rubbed his back to stop his cries. About ten minutes later you kissed his cheek and laid back down. You motioned for him to join you again, so he did. And for the rest of the night you held him in your arms as you rested your chin on the top of his head. You could truly get used to this. The next morning you woke up to see that you were incredibly late and that Kylo was nowhere to be seen. "Shit!" you yell. As you begin to quickly get out of Kylos bed you notice a note on the night stand next to where you had slept. It read "We had a long night last night and i don't want you to be exhausted at work. So i'm giving you the day to rest, feel free to roam my quarters as you please. -Kylo <3" You smiled at the note, it was so cute to you. He had even drawn a little heart next to his name. How adorable? you thought. Later in the day after you had finished all of the books you could possibly find in Kylos room. You got up to stretch your legs when you accidentally bumped into a pair of pitch black doors you had never seen before. As you slowly opened them you raised an eyebrow. Why did he have a random old mask in a hidden room? you thought. Just as you were about to close the doors to this hidden room, you felt Kylo staring down at you. You quickly closed the doors and turned around to face him. "Why are you looking at my grandfathers mask (y/n)?" he said with a stern tone. You backed away from him to the other side of the room in fear. "I'm so sorry Kylo. I didn't mean to go in there. I promise you it was an accident." you say slightly trembling. "Get out of my room!" he shouted at you. "I said i was sorry." you said as you started to back out of his room with your hands up. As much as you wanted to hug him to calm him down, he seemed to not be having the best day. So you left him alone to think or rather scream in anger as he always did. 

After you left Kylos room you decided to occupy your racing thoughts with a book. But eventually that bored you half to death so you laid down and stared at the shiny black ceiling. An hour after you had laid down Kylo stormed into your room. Not noticing him, you continued to space out. He sat next to you on your bed and gently tapped your shoulder to get your attention. "Shit!" you yelled as his presence had started you. You quietly laughed to yourself as you sat up. "Sorry Kylo i didn't see you there. Your very quiet." you say nervously. He looked deep into your eyes "I sense that you have a lot of fear towards me. Why? I'd never hurt you." he says. You look up at him as you pause for a moment "I'm sorry Kylo your just a very intimidating man. Especially when you yell and destroy things." you say. "Oh i'm sorry. I guess i can kind of be blind to my emotions sometimes." he replies. You let out a deep sigh as you rubbed your eyes "It's fine don't worry about it." you say. He then gently kissed your lips and turned around to leave your room. You got up and grabbed his wrist stopping him in his path "Wait! Would you maybe want to sleep in here with me? I don't want to be alone tonight." you say urgently. He turns around and looks at you with the biggest smile you've ever seen on his handsome face. "Sure." he says as he lays down next to you. He gently wrapped his arms around you and nuzzled his face into your neck. You almost immediately fell asleep in his arms, you felt so loved, so comforted. Something you had never felt ever in your life.


	5. Chapter 5

You had a busy day of work and ended up coming back to Kylos quarters later than usual. But you hadn't even noticed your tardyness at all. You were so exhausted that once you got back into your bedroom you immediately plopped down onto your bed. You had been staring at the ceiling and spacing out for a few minutes when suddenly your body was lifted into midair. "Shit." you whispered. You were so tired from the long day you had just had that you had completely forgotten about Kylo. He brought you in closer to his body and dropped you to the floor. "Ow!" you shouted once you hit the ground. He then raised you up to his eye level by your neck, he wouldn't stop tightening his grip around your throat. "Where were you (y/n)? I waited for you for hours!" he shouted at you. His hand was so tight around your neck that you began to choke on your own spit and your vision began to blur. You could barely breath. There was a certain darkness in his eyes that truly scared you in this moment. You tried to remove his giant hands from your neck yourself, but it was no use. You were physically incapable of responding to his demands, so you just stayed silent and stared at him. Suddenly everything went black, you had passed out. Noticing this Kylo dropped your body to the ground. He had his hands behind his back for a few moments as he quietly stared down at you. When all of a sudden he then started to space out in your direction. What he had just done to you replayed in his head again and again. He came back to his senses and realized the horrible and violent thing he had done to you. A single tear rolled down his freckle covered cheeks as his knees slowly crashed to the ground. "What have i done?" he screamed in anger. He was truly angry at himself for what he had done. He wanted to protect and love you but he knew that wasn't going to happen anytime soon after this night. The two of you were finally starting to get closer, but he ruined it all by letting the darkness take over him completely. He scooped your limp body up into his arms and began to walk back to his bedroom as he started to sob over you. After he set you down on his bed he noticed that your nose had started to bleed. He started to press a bunch of bandages from your medical bag against your nose that was flowing with blood. As he did this he continued to cry. "No. No. I can't loose you. I can't let us stop like this when we've just begun." he says. He cuddled you against his chest as he continued to mumble to himself. 

A few hours later around 0200 am you woke up in Kylos arms and in his bed. Once you fully regained consciousness you quickly hopped up out of Kylos arms and backed away against a nearby wall. As you pressed yourself up against this wall you felt something dripping on you shirt. You looked down to see blood. "What the fuck is wrong with you? Did you hit me after i passed out?" you screamed with all the energy you could muster. Kylo slowly stood up from his bed and walked towards you. "Listen (y/n), i can explain. Just give me a chance. I promise i didn't want to hurt you." he says as he tries to hug you. You push him off of you and back away to another wall of his bedroom. "No! Just leave me alone! I knew you would do this! I knew you would hurt me if i let you in!" you shouted with pure rage. It was so tiring to be mad for so long so you began to slowly breath to calm yourself down. As you did this you began to slide down the wall to the floor. You wrapped your arms around your knees as you continued to try slow your breathing. You hadn't even noticed that Kylo was staring at you while you did all of this. He sat down next to you on the floor, you wanted to move away from him. But you were so focused on trying to calm yourself down, you just ignored him. "(y/n), what are you doing?" he says in confusion. You slowly turn your head and narrow your eyes at him. "I'm calming myself down so my anger doesn't get out of control." you say with a stern tone to your voice. "I know you don't want to hear it, but please just let me explain myself." he says. Your eyes dart to his face again and you gently nod as you start to rake your hands through your hair in an attempt to defuse your anger even more. "Before i became the Supreme Leader there was another man or rather creature i guess who was in that role. But i killed him because i had realized that he had been brainwashing me for the several years that i was his apprentice. Unfortunately i'm still recovering from all the pain he caused me. Which i know isn't an excuse but it's the truth, i promise you." he says. You nod back at him as you begin to quietly cry to yourself. He rubbed his hand against your back in an attempt to stop your cries. "What's wrong?" Kylo says with a concerned tone to his voice. You lean your head against his shoulder as you start to speak. "I've just had a really long and tiring day. Alright? And you choking me just made me feel even worse." You continued to cry into your hands after you finished speaking. He wrapped his arms around you and kissed the top of your head. "I'm truly sorry (y/n). I need to learn how to control my emotions. I shouldn't have hurt you. I'm so sorry." he says as he also begins to cry with you. You gently grip the sleeve of his shirt in your hands as you nodded into his shoulder. "It's okay. Just please don't do it again. You really scared me. I thought you were going to kill me." you say. He kisses the top of your head again and gently rests his chin in that spot. "I promise you it won't happen again. All i want to do i protect and love you forever." he says. You pull away from his arms and look into his beautiful eyes. "Really? You don't want to hurt me?" you say with confusion. He pulled you back into his arms a moment later. You gently pressed your body up against his chest. "Yes, i never want to hurt you. Because i love you." he says. This shocked you, you had only been on the ship for a month and a half. But the Supreme Leader loved you and clearly had extreme feelings for you. If you were being honest you loved him too and you understood him deeply. Especially his constant anger and habit of destroying things. You understood he was a broken soul who needed help. "I love you too and don't worry i already forgive you. I understand that your a broken soul and that your still learning how to control yourself again. I understand your pain Kylo." you say. He gently smiled and whispered "Okay." into your ear with tears in his eyes. He then scooped you up and placed you on his bed again. You were still quite scared of Kylo but you tried to ignore that feeling as you now knew he truly did not want to hurt you. Kylo laid on his back as he motioned for you to join him. Once your bodies collided again you rested your head on his now bare muscular chest as you did this you also set your hand down on his chest. you gently kissed his lips before you almost immediately fell asleep. You both fell asleep that night with gentle smiles on your faces.


	6. Chapter 6

You woke up the next morning trembling and panting. You tried calming yourself down like you had the night before, but it wasn't working at all. You had just woken up from the worst nightmare you had ever had. You had dreamt that someone you had never seen before on the ship had taken you prisoner and tortured you for hours and hours on end. As you were still trying to calm yourself down your breathing became quicker and tears started to stream down your now bright red cheeks. A few minutes later after you had started to cry, Kylo woke up and turned over to face you as he had heard your quite quick breathing the second he woke up. He sat up all the way on his side of the bed, then he rested his hand on your shoulder trying to calm you down with his gentle comforting touch. Him doing this startled you quite a bit and you hopped off of his bed and backed away to a near by wall once again. Once your back hit the wall a pair of doors you had bumped into a few days prior opened behind you and you quickly fell through them. Your head hit the ground with a very loud thud. "Ow." you say. You press your hand up against the back of your head to soothe the extreme pain. But when you pulled your hand away a moment later your eyes widened, your head was bleeding a lot because of the impact with the floor. "Kylo!" you screamed. Then everything went black, you passed out. Once Kylo heard your scream for help he immediately rushed over to you. Prior to you falling through the doors he had gotten lost in his thoughts as he could tell how truly scared of him you were. And he desperately wanted to change that. Once entering this mysterious room Kylos knees crashed to floor and he began to tear up a little bit. He grabbed and shirt that was on the ground near this room and tied it around your wound to try to stop the bleeding. He then quickly picked you up and ran to the medical bay with you in his arms as fast as he could. At this point no one knew about the relationship that had been forming between you two, but in this moment he didn't care about that he just wanted to save your life. Once he finally got to the medical bay, Dr.Nablos eyes widened as she looked up at him. "Please help! She needs stitches now! She busted her head open!" he screamed as he began to sob onto your body. Seeing you like this, badly hurt and limp in his arms truly broke his heart, he never wanted to loose you. He wanted you to be his forever. And with a quick nod and utter fear in her eyes Dr.Nablos called over two nurses to take you back to a room and to stitch up your head. After they had taken you from Kylos arms his head dropped as he started to stare at the floor. "MD-5901 is a strong woman, she should be fine. You may come back in an hour or stay until she's done getting stitched up if you'd like." Dr. Nablos says trying to not look at Kylos bare bloody chest. She knew that the two of you were obviously together but she kept that to herself out of respect for Kylo. He quickly nodded at her in response then ran out of the medical bay. Once he got back to his quarters he immediately went to his bathroom to wash your blood off of him, he then rushed to his closet and put on his daily work attire before returning to the medical bay. As he was about to leave, something caught his eye. It was the bloody spot on the floor marking the place you had fallen. A single tear rolled down his cheek as he ran out of his quarters again. Once arriving back at the medical bay Kylo stood in the corner of the giant main room, waiting for you.

-Time skip: an hour later-

"Sir?" Dr.Nablos said as she approached Kylo. He looked down at her as he began to stand up all the way. "She's in that room if you'd like to see her." Dr.Nablos says. Kylo looked off to the room she had pointed to a moment earlier. "Thank you doctor." he whispered. She nodded back with a smile on her face in response. Once he entered the room he began to tear up again. He paused for a moment as he stared at you. He then picked you up again and pressed your body up against his chest. Before he left the room he gently kissed your forehead, as he did this his tears hit your cheeks. He then walked out the room you had been stitched up in and approached Dr.Nablos with you still in his arms. "There is no need to take anymore care of her then you already have. She will be recovering with me in my quarters." Kylo says with a stern tone. "Yes sir." Dr.Nablos said as she handed him things he would need to help you with your wound. He then quickly walked back to his quarters, he was almost there when that short general named Hux stepped out in front of him. "Supreme leader why are you holding a limp woman and a medic bag?" Hux asks angrily. Kylo narrows his eyes at the short ginger man and says "That is none of your business Hux. Return to your post before i kill you." Hux rolls his eyes at Kylo and then swiftly walks away in the other direction. Once he entered his quarters, then his bedroom again Kylo gently set you down on his bed and pulled his blanket all the way up to your neck. That he noticed was still healing from the night before. He gently frowned as he looked down at you. He then picked up his data pad to send a message to general Phasma. He quickly typed out the message as he didn't want to leave you alone for too long. It read "Phasma, you will be taking over as Supreme leader for me today as i have some personal business to deal with." After sending the message Kylo set down his data pad on his nightstand and slid into his bed next to you. He scooped you into his arms again and held you until you woke up. About two hours after Kylo had taken you back to his quarters, you woke up. You blinked a few times before fully regaining consciousness. Once you did you looked up at Kylo, you tried to back away from his arms but he didn't let you. So you relaxed your body in his arms as you knew there was no chance of him letting go of you. You honestly liked him holding you anyways. "What happened Kylo?" you said as he set you back down on your side of his bed. "You had badly injured the back of your head trying to get away from me. And once i realized what had happened to you, i immediately took you to the medical bay. I couldn't let you die, it would tear me apart. I hope your not scared of me anymore, i'd never harm you truly." he says. But it was actually true this time, you no longer feared him. As him literally saving your life showed you that all he wanted to do was make sure you were alive and safe. You gently nodded at him as you rested your head on his shoulder and gripped his coat in your hands. A few moments later you sat yourself up and gently kissed his lips. Once you pulled away you saw that he had started to blush because of this. You gently smiled at him as you ran your thumb across his cheek. "You can leave now if you want. I'll be fine Kylo, i promise." you say. He shakes his head "No, i'm not leaving your side until your fully healed." he says. You gently smile at him again "Aw okay." you reply. It was so cute to you that he was showing you how much he loved and cared about you. He then changed out of his work attire and quickly got back into bed with you. He gently wrapped his arms around you making sure not to hurt you even more. Once you were fully in his arms again he nuzzled his face into your neck. "I love you." you whispered. He quietly laughed to himself "I know." he says. Maybe he is someone you would spend the rest of your life with? Who knows? you thought with a smile on your face. You were comforted by the fact that you truly now knew that everything would be okay. You were safe with Kylo.


	7. Chapter 7

You woke up quite early in the day two weeks after your accident, feeling quite numb. You felt absolutely nothing. Your mind was cold and empty of any emotions. For a few minutes after you woke up you laid on your back staring at the ceiling, just thinking and trying to possibly feel something, anything. Eventually after a little while of thinking you got up to get ready as your head was healed enough that you could finally return to work. You sat up on your side of Kylos bed and faced his closet, as your thoughts continued to overwhelmingly flow through your aching head. You quietly groaned as you stood up, as you did so Kylo grabbed your wrist stopping you from moving any further away from him. "Where are you going?" he asks. You slowly turn around to face him "I'm healed enough to return to work. I'll be fine." you say very monotoned with a blank look on your face. Kylo let go of your hand slowly as he said "Oh okay." You noticed a frown grow across his face, but you just ignored it and continued on to his closet to prepare for the day. You quickly slipped on your work uniform as you stared at the shiny floor. Once you got to the bathroom you blankly stared at your reflection as you braided your hair tight against your head. As you were slipping on your face mask Kylo pulled you close to him and kissed your forehead. You quickly backed away from him and looked up at his face blankly "I have to go. I'll see you later Supreme Leader." you say. You then quickly walked out of his quarters. As you left his quarters tears began to fall down Kylos cheeks. Why were you calling him Supreme Leader again out of nowhere? Were you falling out of love with him? he wondered to himself. You seemed to be acting off to him and he wanted to help you. But at the same time he didn't want to push you away from him more then he already had. 

As you were walking to the medical bay you looked down at your data pad, making sure to be aware of your surroundings while you did so. You had to stitch up seven officers today. You rolled your eyes as you read this message, this would probably take all day to do. Once you entered the medical bay a big smile appeared on Dr.Nablos' face, but you were so wrapped up in your thoughts that you didn't even notice that she was standing there. As you were about to walk to get the medical supplies you would need, Dr.Nablos stopped you. She gently patted your back "MD-5901, it's good to see you working again!" she says very cheerfully. "Mhm." you quietly mumbled back as you walked away from her. You then headed into the first room to tend to the officer that was in there. The time was 1100 pm when you were finally done with all of the officers for the day. You set down your medical bag and leaned up against the wall. As you did this you let out a big sigh as you gently rested your head up against the wall and closed your eyes. You could hear footsteps approaching you but you just ignored them. They just belonged to Dr.Nablos after all. "Hey, your free to go back to your quarters now. Your shift is over MD-5901." she says. You nod back at her in response and slowly start to leave the medical bay. As you were about to exit it Dr.Nablos called your name. "MD-5901! Wait!" So you stopped in your tracks and turned around to face her. As she was finally standing in front of you again she rested her hand on your shoulder. "Is everything okay? You don't seem like to be acting yourself." she says with concern. You glance at the ground for a moment then look back up at her again. "I don't know. I'm just really tired of everything." you say. She releases her hand from your shoulder and drops it to her side. She gently nods with a subtle smile on her face and says "I get it (y/n). Don't be afraid to show up to work late some days, it's important to take care of yourself and your mental health. But i know you'll be okay eventually, your strong." she replies. You nod back at her "Thank you." you whisper as you turn around to leave. Once you got back to Kylos quarters you went into the spare room, which you had not been in for quite awhile. You desperately wanted time to yourself to think more and distress. You gently laid down on the bed and cradled yourself as you stared at the shiny black ceiling. The entire day Kylo had been so worried about you, you weren't acting like yourself at all. You definitely seemed quite numb to him. Did i cause this? he wondered. He had been waiting for hours for you to return, a smile appeared on his face once he could finally sense your warm presence in his quarters again. You were laying down in the spare bedroom, but why? Why wouldn't you join Kylo in his bed? He had so many questions he wanted you to answer, so he quietly walked to the bedroom you were in. Once he got there a few moments later he gently knocked on the door, you then turned over and blankly looked at him. You then put your focus back onto the ceiling again instead of him. He then quickly walked to your bedside and sat down next to you on your bed. He gently took your hand in his as he looked down at you. He felt so bad, you looked so miserable and sad. "(y/n)?" Kylo says. "What?" you say slightly annoyed. "Are you okay? I've been worried about you all day and you didn't even come home until very late." he says. You lift your head from his shoulder and face him. You let out a sigh as you began to talk. "To be honest no. I'm not okay. I'm just really tired of everything and i woke up this morning feeling numb and emotionless. Maybe i'm going through a depression, i don't know." you reply. He takes you in his arms and strokes your back. "I understand your pain (y/n). I know it can be hard, but i promise you i'll be right here at your side until the day you feel happy again comes." he says. You gently nod back in response as you grip his shirt in your hands for more comfort. As you begin to do this Kylo scoops you up into his arms and held you close to his chest, just how you liked it. As he set you down on his bed he gently kissed your cheek. "I love you." Kylo whispers into your ear. "I know." you reply as you get up to change out of your work uniform and to finally let your hair down. Once you finished changing you walked out of Kylos closet to see him sitting on his bed, waiting for you to join him. A subtle smile appeared on your face as you laid down next to him. You gently kissed his lips and then laid down all the way. Kylo then took you in his arms and held you tightly as he began to get comfortable himself. Right before you fell asleep you turned over and looked right into Kylos eyes. "I love you too." you whisper. He gently smiled at you as he pulled you closer to his body. You already felt somewhat at peace, even though you still knew it would take a long time for you to feel happy again. But you would be okay as long as Kylo was there for you.


	8. Chapter 8

It had been yet another stressful and tiring day for you at work, all you wanted to do is sleep but your mind wouldn't stop racing. There were so many thoughts flowing through your mind all at once. So you walked to a large balcony that overlooked the hangars on the base, in an attempt to just distress a little bit before you would have to go back to Kylos quarters and deal with him and his extreme anger for the night. You stared at the vast space that surrounded the ship, it was so beautiful and angelic. It felt as if you had been staring at the stars for hours and hours. When suddenly you felt a hand on your shoulder, this surprised you quite a bit causing you to slightly jump in the spot you were standing in. You turned your head slightly to see Kylo standing there with a smirk on his wildly handsome face. "Hi." you say quietly to him with a faint smile on your beautiful face. He then releases his hand from your shoulder as he steps into a spot next to you. Once he was completely facing the same direction as you were, he took his gloves off and took your hand in his. And in all honesty you absolutely loved it, his hands were so big and comforting to you. He looked over at you for a minute "Hi." he whispered back. You quietly laughed at him as you started to blush. You then gently kissed his cheek, also making him blush. Kylo then looks down at you again "Is everything okay? It's getting quite late and your still not back in my quarters for the night." he says. You pause for a moment and look up at him "I'm fine. I just had a really long day and i needed to distress before i would go back to your quarters to deal with another one of your rage fits." you reply. After you finished speaking you let out a deep sigh as you looked back towards the stars outside the ship. 

He also pauses for a moment "I'm dearly sorry my love. I shouldn't make you deal with my emotions. I guess i'm still learning how to get them under control. Which really isn't an excuse for the acting the way i do but it is the truth, i promise." he says. After he finished speaking you rested your head on his shoulder and smiled up at him. "It's okay. I understand Kylo." you say as you take his hand in yours again. He brightly smiled at you and said "Now let's go back to my quarters. You need sleep, i don't want you to be a cranky brat in the morning." he says. You roll your eyes at him and laugh as you start walking away from the balcony. As the two of you were soon approaching Kylos quarters he looked down at you again for a moment nervously, but you just ignored this as you thought he was just making sure you were okay. Once the two of you were fully in his quarters again he took you to his bedroom and sat you down on his bed. "(y/n), i desperately need to tell you something and it's been on my mind for a while." he says still nervously as he sits on his bed opposite of you. You smile at him and say "Of course! You can tell me anything." you reply. He gazes into your bright beautiful eyes as he begins to speak "Kylo Ren is not my real name, it was given to me when i joined the first order. My real name is Ben Solo." You pause for a moment. "I love that name and i'm glad you were able to be honest with me. I would like to start calling you Ben, if you don't mind. I like that name more than Kylo." you say with a smile. He nods with a bright smile spread across his handsome face. He then gently kisses you, making you blush once again in the process. And as you always did every single night, you fell asleep in Bens comforting and strong arms. He had been trying for hours to fall asleep, but nothing was working. He couldn't get you and the relationship you two had together out of his head. He needed to confide in someone, but at the same time he didn't want to wake you up as you looked so peaceful and he knew how tired you were. So he decided to go talk to the only other person who knew you on the ship, Dr.Nablos. He gently peeled his body away from yours and quickly got up to throw on a sweater and sweatpants. As he didn't feel the need to get into his full work attire in the middle of the night. He then rushed to the medical bay and to his luck Dr.Nablos was still there, working on a stack of paper work. He slowly approached her desk as he began to speak. "Dr.Nablos, may i confide in you?" She jumped slightly in her chair, as she hadn't even noticed him entering the medical bay. "Of course Supreme Leader. What do you need to get off of your chest?" she replies still slightly startled. "I want to strengthen me and (y/n)'s relationship. As i feel that we spend too much time apart. What should i do? I don't want to loose her and i kind of feel like i am." he says. Dr.Nablos gently smiles at him "Take her to a place where it will just be the two of you and no one else. That includes work sir. Show her that you love and care about her deeply." she says. "Thank you." he says as he begins to leave the medical bay. He knew exactly what to do. He was going to take you to the warm planet Naboo for the next few days so the two of you could spend more time together. Once he got back to his quarters and quietly walked back to his bedroom. He then took his data pad and quickly typed out a message for Hux and Phasma. It read "The two of you will be in charge of the ship for the next few days while i'm gone. - Kylo Ren." After sending the message Ben you back into his bed and took you into his arms again. 

The next morning he gently shook you awake "(y/n)." he whispered. You blinked a few times as you began to wake up. Once you were fully awake, Ben released you from his arms and you sat up. You gently smiled at him as he began to speak. "Pack a small bag, we are going to be leaving the ship for the next few days. We're going to the planet Naboo." A smile grew across your face, you were so happy and excited to be with Ben outside of the ship. Most importantly you were excited about being alone with him. "Okay." you say as you gently kiss him. You then hopped out of Bens bed and started to pack your things. You felt so loved by him and you wouldn't have it any other way.


	9. Chapter 9

Later that morning after packing your bags, you and Ben boarded his small ship that he had in one of the hangars to go to Naboo. You were so excited to get away from the base for a little while, it was too serious and depressing for your liking. It seemed as if everyone was always frowning, which you hated. You wanted to be within a planet that practically pumped out happiness from every single angle. And maybe Naboo could do that for you, from Bens descriptions it seemed like quite the beautiful and happy planet. The trip to Naboo was quite long and quiet, you wanted to talk to Ben but you assumed that he just wanted to focus on flying and plus you knew he wasn't that talkative anyways. So you left him alone and sat in silence for the rest of the ride. It had been about an hour since the two of you had left the base when Ben suddenly looked over at you and blushed. "We're almost there babe." he said with a bright smile across his handsome face. You quietly nodded back also with a smile on your face. A little while later Ben landed the ship on what you assumed was Naboo. It was so incredibly beautiful and breath taking. You gently kissed Bens cheek and ran out of the ship. You had to explore the planets true and utter beauty. 

Once you were fully out of Bens ship, you walked into a beautiful field that was nearby. Once you reached it you immediately kicked off your shoes and started to run through the grass as you smiled ear to ear. A smile appeared on Bens face as he exited his ship, he felt so at peace and happy to see you happy, free of any mental pain. You brightly smiled and waved at him while you were still in the field. A few minutes later, you then motioned for him to come join you in the field. Ben hated grass, but seeing how happy you were. He went to where you were standing anyways. He quickly ran over to you and picked you up in his arms and twirled you around. You both had the biggest smiles on your faces. Once he set you back down you knocked him over and rolled around with him, laughing and smiling, until he was on top of you. Noticing this you subtly smirked, also noticing this Ben quietly laughed to himself and gently kissed you. He then rolled off of you and laid down all the way in the spot next to you. Using the force, he pulled you closer to his body. You adored this and thought it was very cute, so you rested your head on his chest. It was so muscular and comforting to you. Everything about Ben made you feel truly happy and at peace. You truly never wanted this feeling to end, you wanted to be with Ben forever. "I feel the same way." he whispered into your ear as you continued to lay on him. You quickly sat up all the way "You can hear my thoughts?" you said with confusion. He nodded at you with a big smile on his face as he also started to sit up. Then both of you got up and put your shoes back on as you had to head to where you two would be staying. You gently grabbed your bag from Bens hands as you started to walk to the place you were staying at. "You don't have to do everything for me." you say with a smirk on your face. "I know." Ben replies as he rolls his eyes. You gently nudged his side as you started laughing again. You were so in love with him and you hadn't even noticed it.

And Ben was even more in love with you than he had ever imagined. Ever since he joined the First Order he had always felt so lonely and numb. He wanted someone to fill that empty void in his heart. And to his luck, you came into his life. He felt so happy whenever he was with you. He smiled and laughed all the time because of you. You made him a better person. And he did the same for you, he was always there for you and you greatly appreciated him everyday of your life. You and Ben then finally approached a giant building on the planet, you were quite confused if you were actually staying here or not. You put your hand on Bens shoulder stopping him. "Ben are we actually staying here?" you ask. He looks over at you with a subtle smile "Yes, (y/n) this used to be my grandmas palace when she was still alive. Her name was Padme" he says. Your eyes widen as you continue to follow him as you realized that he was literally royalty. The room in the palace the two of you would be staying in was so incredibly beautiful. You loved it. You loved everything about the palace and Naboo. It felt so peaceful and happy there and you adored it. Later that evening after you both had gotten settled, you and Ben had dinner together nearby to where his grandparents had gotten married in secret years and years ago. It was so romantic, there were flowers everywhere around the terrace and bright red candles that sat in the middle of the table that illuminated your faces. The dinner was mostly silent until half way through your meal you stopped eating and looked up at Ben. "Ben, why did you do all of this for me?" you ask. At this point you had known Ben for five and a half months. He looks up at you as he starts to blush. "Because your the love of my life (y/n) and you deserve to be treated well." he replies smiling. You smile back at him as you also start to blush. 

The next few days on Naboo were filled with endless relaxation and absolute love. You had never felt to content and happy before. But before you knew it was time for you and Ben had to head back to the base as he had some important duties to tend to and couldn't be gone for an entire week. So as you had expected once you got back to the base you both started working again. You missed Ben dearly as you only saw him in the morning and night. But you understood that he was a very busy man. You just wished you could have more time with him.


	10. Chapter 10

(TRIGGER WARNING: self harm and suicide attempt. Disclaimer: i am not trying to glamorize suicide or self harm in this chapter.)

A few days later after you and Ben had gotten back from Naboo. You were finishing up on an officer when suddenly you felt Bens heavy and intimidating footsteps approaching you. You gently sighed to yourself. You loved Ben with every single fiber in your body, but it annoyed you that he randomly showed up in the middle of your work day. Especially while you were quite busy with a horribly injured patient. "MD-5901, i need to speak with you." Ben says. You roll your eyes "Of course Supreme Leader. Just please give me a minute to finish up with this patient and i'll be right out." you reply. He gently nods and then leaves the room. The officer widened his eyes. "I've never seen the Supreme Leader be so calm and content before, wow." the officer says. "I know right. Me neither." you reply slightly annoyed. After you finished patching up this officers wounds you washed your hands then headed out into the hallways to find Ben. Once you finally did Ben pulled you aside into an empty hallway. He threw his helmet to the ground and gently kissed you as he held your face in his hands. "What is it Ben? I don't have all day." you say. "I've been avoiding telling you this, but i've known it for quite some time now. You are force-sensitive and i want to train you on how to use your powers and become stronger. And don't worry about work my love, Dr.Nablos is already aware of your upcoming absences. We will train every morning at 0700 am starting tomorrow. But for now you may go back to my quarters." he says. You gently nod as you start to walk away from him. "How could i have these special powers and never have noticed before today? How weird." you thought. 

\- Time Skip: the next morning-

That next morning as soon as you woke up you gently peeled your body from Bens arms. As you needed to start getting ready as soon as possible. For training you wore a jet black sports bra and and a pair of grey sweatpants, plus a pair of bright red running shoes. You then went into the bathroom to put your hair up into a bun, so it would be out if your face during training. As you did this Ben walked into the bathroom and his eyes widened at the sight of your body. He had never seen you in so little clothing, you looked absolutely beautiful. Every part of your body was utterly perfect to him. After the two of you were ready to go, Ben led you to the training room. Once you were in there Ben handed you a spare lightsaber from the shelf and showed you how to properly hold it. You and Ben then immediately started to fight with the lightsabers. He had worked you so hard, you had never sweated so much in your life. "Can we stop for today? I'm so out of breath." you say. Ben quietly laughs to himself "Sure." he says. You gave him a quick thumbs up before you walked out of the training room. You were about five minutes away from Bens quarters when you finally could breathe normally again. You were about to enter Bens quarters when suddenly that short general named Hux stepped out in front of you. "Who are you?" he asks annoyed. You took one step back away from him "I'm MD-5901. I'm the Supreme Leaders personal doctor sir." you reply. Hux narrows his eyes at you "Stay away from Kylo Ren! You are distracting him from his work you whore! You are worthless and nothing but a waste of time!" he shouts. You stare at the ground trying to contain your emotions "Yes sir." you say. And just as he was about to leave he violently slapped your cheek. You then put your hand to your already bruising cheek a moment later as what he had done shocked you a lot. He then stormed off in the other direction as you began to cry. Your cheek hurt so much, the pain was unbareable. Trying to hold back the pain and tears you went into Bens closet and changed out of your sweaty clothes. As much as you loved Ben, you didn't want to be around him if that meant you were going to be hurt all the time. And plus you had so much additional mental pain too, you just wanted it all to stop. You wanted to end it, you couldn't take all this pain any longer. You had been so deep in your thoughts that you hadn't even noticed that Ben was back from work for the evening. He gently tapped your shoulder "(y/n)? What happened to your cheek? Are you okay?" he says. You look away from him and let out a loud sigh. He gently put his hand around your jaw and made you face him. "What happened?" he says as he let's go of you. "Hux slapped me and told me i was a whore and worthless." you say as you start to cry again. Ben sits down next to you and takes you into his arms. He starts to gently stoke your back as he kisses your forehead. "I'm sorry that happened to you. I'll take care of him, i promise." he whispers into your ear. A few minutes later Ben then stands up and takes his lightsaber from his belt. "Where are you going?" you ask. He moves your head up with his finger so that you are making complete eye contact with him. "To kill Hux for you babygirl." he says. You quickly stand up trying to stop him. "No! He isn't worth it Ben! Don't do it!" you shout. He pauses for a moment "No, i have to do it (y/n). I have to protect you from anything that hurts you." he says. You drop you arm to your side and gently nod at him. Making sure Ben wouldn't notice your presence, you quietly followed after him in the hallways. You wanted to see if he was actually going to kill Hux. Ben finally got to what you assumed was Huxs office, once he was fully in the office you slightly opened the door and watched the encounter through a crack, making sure not to be seen by either of them. "Why would you hurt her! You know what, don't even answer that! It's time for you to feel my wrath Hux!" Ben screams. Your jaw dropped as you saw Ben lift Hux up from where he was standing and throw him against the wall as he began to choke him. Tears then started to pour out of your eyes as you watched Ben kill Hux, you felt so guilty, this was all your fault. Once he dropped Huxs body to the ground you stormed into the office. "Why would you do that?" you say with tears still streaming down your burning red cheeks. As you finished you then started to cry into your hands, Ben wrapped his arms around you. "Everything is going to be okay my love. He can't hurt you anymore." he says. You quickly back up from Ben "No! Get away from me! Your the one hurting me!" you scream as you start to run out of the room. Ben stared at the ground and frowned as what he had done to you and Hux really hit him. Weirdly enough he felt guilt for his actions. He wanted to go comfort you so badly, but he had a meeting he couldn't miss so he held his feelings back and left Huxs office for the meeting. Once you got back to Bens quarters you searched for a very sharp knife you knew he had. You didn't want to live another day, you wanted to end your life once and for all. So once you finally found out it you sat in his shower knife in hand with all of your clothes still on. You took a deep breath as you began to slit your wrists. You finally felt at peace again as your life slowly bled out of you. Ten minutes later you passed out due to all of the blood you had lost. In the middle of his meeting Ben sensed that there was something wrong with you. So he excused himself and ran out of the meeting room to his quarters. As he approached his shower tears started to rapidly pour out of his eyes as he saw your limp bleeding body and the slit marks along your wrists. He didn't want to loose you, you were all he had. Were you this unhappy with him? he thought. He then quickly rushed to your side "I'm so sorry (y/n)." he cried out as began to pick up your still bleeding body. He quickly ran to the medical bay. "Please she needs help, she's lost so much blood!" he screams. With a concerned look on her face Dr.Nablos quickly signaled two nurses to take you back to an operating room immediately. "I'll have to amputate both of her arms because of the blood loss. You may wait here for a few hours until her surgery is over." Dr.Nablos says. Ben gently nods as he stares at the ground.

-Time Skip: four hours later-  
Ben had been standing in a corner of the medical bay for what felt like days to him. When suddenly a very tall nurse tapped his shoulder and pointed him into the direction of the room you were in.


	11. Chapter 11

Ben held your new hands in his for two hours after your surgery. When suddenly you finally woke up. As you woke up you blinked a few times, but you still did not move at all. You just stared at the ceiling, not a single thought flowing through your head. You still kind of hated that you were still alive and breathing. But noticing that you were now awake Ben quickly stood up and gently kissed you. But you had no reaction, you still felt sort of numb and empty of emotions once again. After he stopped kissing you, you continued to stare at the ceiling in silence. He then began to kiss you all over your face. From your forehead to your cheeks to your chin and then your lips again. A subtle smile crept onto your face. You then stared right into Bens beautiful brown eyes and made your smile more noticeable to him as you began to blush. He took your hands in his again and looked deeply into your beautiful eyes "(y/n), how are you feeling?" Ben says. You let out a deep sigh as you begin to sit yourself up in the hospital bed. "I feel fine. But i do have to admit my hands feel weird. They look normal, but they feel very robotic." you reply. "You had lost too much blood, so they had to be amputated. But i would like to know, why did you try to end your life? Why did you harm yourself?" Ben says quietly. You stare at your lap for a moment then look back up at Ben. "I did it because i feel like i'm always getting hurt when i'm around you and i thought that was my only way out of it. I was tired of the pain." you say. Ben deeply stared at you again as tears started to well up in his eyes. "This is all my fault! I should've been there for you. But instead i wasn't, i'm so sorry (y/n)." he replies. You wipe his tears away as he finishes speaking and gently nod in response with a smile on your face. "It's okay Ben. I promise you." you say. He then quickly wrapped his arms around you and kissed your cheeks as he began to cry. You gently stroked his back as you started to speak "I'm okay now Ben. That's what's important and plus i'm still alive. Aren't i?" Ben gently nodded as he began to pull away from you. He then took your arms in his hands and began to gently kiss where the cuts once were. A quiet laugh left your lips as you started to smile. "Ben, i need to be honest with you. As much as i love you with every bit of my heart, i think we need time away from each other. I need to be alone for a little while. I'm sorry." you say with a frown on your face. "Oh okay." Ben says as he lets go of your arms. He then quickly left the room with his head down. You loved Ben with all your heart but you desperately needed time alone to work on your mental health.

\- Time skip: two months later -

It had been about two months since you had last talked to Ben. And even though you missed him dearly, you had never felt better. After being sad for so many months, you actually felt happy again for once. During the time that you and Ben took a break you still lived in his quarters, but the two of you never even looked at each other even for a second the entire time. 

You had quite the tiring day at work, it was 1200 am and you were just now leaving the medical bay. As you had to stitch up quite a few stormtroopers who recently went on a mission with Ben. Once you were fully done with every trooper, you headed back to Bens quarters for the night. Even though you were incredibly tired, you still wanted to talk to Ben, you hadn't talked to him in two months after all. You missed him with every bit of your heart and you wanted to reconnect with him. Once you entered Bens quarters you quickly went to the spare bedroom to set your stuff down. After doing so, you slowly walked to Bens bedroom. You leaned your body up against the door frame and looked directly at him. "Hi, i've missed you Ben." you said quietly with a smile on your face. He glanced up at you and weakly smiled. "I hope i didn't interrupt anything. I'll go now." you say. And just as you were about to start walking back to the spare bedroom you heard Bens voice come from behind you. "Wait!" he said urgently as he tried to grab your wrist. You then turned around to face him and you gazed up into his eyes. He stared at you for a moment, when suddenly he leaned down to your height and wrapped his arms around you and then rested his head on your shoulder. "I've missed you too. I can't live without you (y/n)." he whispers. You could tell he was starting to cry again, so you gently rubbed his back just the way he liked. You then pulled away from him a few minutes later and smiled as you gently wiped the tears still coming down his handsome face. You kissed him gently as you started to blush. He then scooped you up into his arms and took you to his bed. As soon as he set you down he slid onto his bed next you as fast as he could. Once he was next to you again he wrapped his arms around you, he began to cuddle you like he used to every night a few months ago. You then gently rested your head on his chest as you began to smile. "(y/n), please move back into my bedroom. I haven't slept well since you left. I need you." Ben says. "Don't worry Ben, i will." you reply. "Good." he says as he begins to pull your body closer to his. Finally everything felt absolutely okay again. You were truly happy again and you and Ben had never been more in love. You felt amazing.


	12. Chapter 12

After you woke up you stared at the ceiling for what felt like hours. There was something in your mind that was bothering you quite a bit, but you couldn't figure it out. So you did what you always did your entire life when something was bothering you, you just ignored it. You then sat up all the way on Bens bed as you started to stretch. A moment later you quickly got up as your early shift started soon. Seeing as Ben was still asleep you quietly walked to his closet, making sure not to wake him. You then quickly slipped on your work uniform, braided your hair and then headed out the door. Still making sure not to wake Ben from his deep peaceful slumber. A frown grew on Bens face as he woke up and saw that you were no longer there next to him. He hated seeing the empty space next him where you once were just hours before. But still he ignored his strong emotions and continued on with his day. 

About half way through your shift Ben came quickly walking into the medical bay. But you still ignored his presence, even though you knew he was there. As you were washing your hands after finishing up with an officer, he gently tapped your shoulder. As soon as you turned around to look at him, he quickly grabbed your wrist and took you into his office. Once you two finally got there he let go of your arm. He took your hands in his again as he began to speak. "(y/n), i need you to know i will be gone for a few days on a mission to fight Palpatine and the scavenger girl. I promise you i'll be back before you know it babygirl." You gently frowned as you stared at the ground, you had a bad feeling about this. "Okay." you whispered as tears started to pour out of your eyes. Ben gently put his hand on your cheek and wiped your tears away. "Don't worry my love even if i do die i'll always be with you. The force will connect us, i promise. Don't worry about me." Ben says. You gently nod as you continued to cry. "And i hope you know that no matter what happens i will always love you, forever Ben Solo." you reply. He gently smiles at you as he pulls you in closer to him. He then kisses your cheek and whispers "Forever and always." into your ear. You gently smile as you heard those words exit his mouth. A few minutes later he pulls away from you "I have to go soon my love. I'll miss you." he says. And before you could say another word he was gone. You already missed him and you wanted to go after him. But your shift was not over yet so you collected yourself and headed back to the medical bay. 

For the rest of your shift, something felt missing. You felt as if someone had ripped out your heart, but you tried to ignore this feeling as much as you could and continued on with your day. 

It was an hour until your shift was over when you felt your heart sink. Ben was hurt. You bit your lip as you tried to hold back your tears. You desperately wanted to help and save him, even though you knew deep down that you couldn't. And that truly broke your heart. 

As you were about to leave the medical bay Dr.Nablos called out your name. As you stopped and turned around a frown grew across her face. She slowly walked up to you and put a hand on your shoulder. "(y/n), i have some bad news about Kylo." she says. You gently nod in response as you begin to tear up again. Dr.Nablos then pauses for a moment as she looks at you with concern in her eyes. "He's passed. I'm sorry." she quietly says. As soon as those words left her mouth you began to sob and your knees crashed to the floor. Your one true love was gone. Your heart was shattered. Ben had saved your life so many times and you could never return the favor. Dr.Nablos sat down on the ground in front of you and began to speak again as she pressed her hand up against your back. "The scavenger surrendered this sweater to us and said he was wearing when he died. But after he passed his body disappeared, so we have no remains." she says gently. You nod in response as you continue to cry. "In his will he wrote that you were to take over his position of Supreme Leader in the event of his death. You have to report to general Phasma tomorrow morning to discuss matters." Dr.Nablos says. You gently nod again as you begin to speak "I already miss him so much and i feel so incredibly guilty. He always saved me no matter what and i could never return the favor for him." you say. Dr.Nablos wraps her arms around you comfort you, you gently place a hand on her back. "I know (y/n), but don't be afraid to take as much time as you need to grieve. I promise you it's okay." she says as she pulls away from you. "Thank you." you whisper as you get up to leave the medical bay. A frown remained on Dr.Nablos face as you left. She grieved with you as she knew how important Ben was to you. That night you laid in your now half empty bed and cried yourself to sleep. You wished that you were the one to die instead of Ben. As you were laying down, you held Bens sweater tightly in your hands. To comfort you with his scent that you already missed so much. 

You could not sleep for hours and hours because of the pain Bens death had caused you to feel. You wanted him by your side again, not dead. As you continued stare at the ceiling, you saw a familiar figure out of the corner of your eye. You slowly sat up and decided to check it out. As you stood up from your bed, you quickly stared to cry again. That familiar figure was Ben. "Ben?" you say weakly. He takes a step towards you "Yes my love?" he says. You raise an eyebrow as you continued to look at him. "How are you here? You died earlier today." you say with confusion. A gentle smile appears on his face "I am a force ghost now (y/n). I am one with the force and i have been reunited with my family." he says. You frown as you begin to sob "I already miss you so much Ben." you say. He then wraps his arms around you like he did when was alive. "I know babygirl. If you ever need me, just call out to the force and i will appear. And don't forget I love you forever and always (y/n) (y/L/n)." Ben says. But before you could say another word he vanished. You gently smiled in the direction he once stood in moments earlier. You missed him so much but you knew that he would always be with you in spirit. And that comforted you greatly.

The End 

A/N  
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Hi y'all. I hope you liked this story even though it was kind of short. And i apologize for the very sad ending, but i still hope you liked it none the less. May the force be with you. :)


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